Respect for a child´s choice

A support of a child's self-confidence depends on reactions of close people. A lot of conflicts, power struggles and tantrums are caused just by excessive asserting adult's own way, which is often mistaken for natural authority. One way of approaching a child is to control, command and guide from a distance. Another possibility is adapting to the child's level, listening, observing and perceiving needs of a developing child's personality with an open heart.

There are many opportunities during a day which are possible to use for supporting a development of a self-confidence at once. The most important thing is to give the child as many choices as possible.
"Which way shall we go?"
"Would you like to swing or to slide?"
"Shall we look for some nice big leaves?"

Letting the child to make a choice we interpret the child a message: " I appreciate your opinion, your choice and I respect you." It is not always possible and good to comply with the child's request. The choice between two possibilities can help us.
"Are you going to play with a car or a little rake?" "Are we going for a walk with a teddy bear or a doll?" It is also good to describe the child the situation he/she is in and support the child's new choice: "Don't you want to drive your car anymore? Do you want to come down? Where are we going now?"

We adults also want to choose the way we will follow by ourselves. We are free enough to decide according to ourselves. Why should we deny this freedom to children? Is it too soon? Is it better to tell little children what to do and where to go? Not in the least. Particularly in early childhood we create fundamentals for healthy self-confidence. And one possibility is to let the child to be free to choose.